


Find The Poisoner (board game edition)

by tangentiallly



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: Family, Gen, Post-Canon, Prologue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:20:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29083788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangentiallly/pseuds/tangentiallly
Summary: an alternative prologue for Poison for Breakfast
Kudos: 10





	Find The Poisoner (board game edition)

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: i don't own asoue

“Beatrice,” Frank says sternly. “Put those game cards away, this is the dining table.”

“I feel like I’ve just been hit by a sudden deja vu,” Ernest sighs. “It’s making me nostalgic.”

Frank ignores his brother. “We’re about to have breakfast. Clear the table and put your board game away, please.”

The little girl stares up at her uncles, all wide-eyed and pleading. “But I thought we could play the game and have breakfast at the same time! And Uncle Lemony said we can too!”

She reminds him of how Dewey used to look at him the same way when he wanted something, too. Sometimes it’s like he could see Dewey’s eyes in her eyes. But Frank didn’t run a large, complicated hotel for decades and deal with various difficult customers just to easily be defeated by a pair of pleading eyes about something like  _ playing a board game while eating breakfast _ . Lemony already barely ever says no to her, and Ernest has never been big on rules, so  _ someone _ has to take up the task. If that someone is him, then so be it.

“Oh, don’t pretend you’re so reluctant,” Beatrice chided - the  _ other _ Beatrice, the  _ first _ Beatrice, the bane of his existence constantly causing trouble in the hotel before she decided to get married and never visited again - in his head. “You love being the authority figure.” He rolled his eyes at her, inside his imagination.

“Frank _ did _ say please,” Ernest whispers conspiratorially to their niece, loud enough and definitely intended to let Frank overhear. “As the resident expert on his various behaviors, trust me when I say that’s  _ rare _ . So I think you should do as he says.”

Beatrice pouts, but relents. “Okay, Uncle.”

“Good girl,” Ernest says, and then winks at Frank, always one to show off to Frank when he can get Beatrice to agree to something when Frank couldn’t. 

Frank ignores him. “Thank you, Beatrice.”

The girl collects all the cards on the table and dutifully puts the board game back to her room. Ernest turns to Frank, “do you think Snicket - who definitely thinks meals are important and generally not something to be mixed with board games - told her she could because he doesn’t know how to say no, or because he has a weird, morbid sense of humor?”

Frank shrugs. “It feels like 50-50, to be honest. I can definitely see him as the type - I mean,  _ Find The Poisoner _ \- he does have that odd sense of humor to enjoy a game like that during the meal. But that still doesn’t mean he knows how to say no.”

“True,” Ernest agrees. “And you know Snicket’s probably the type to make some clever remark if he does one day happen to be poisoned by a breakfast meal, too. He’d call it -”

“Dramatic irony,” Frank supplies.

“Foreshadowing,” Ernest says at the same time.

They look at each other and Ernest bursts into laughter, and even Frank allows himself an amused chuckle.

“Yeah, well, we’re done with VFD now, so that’s hardly going to happen,” Frank says. “Now come help me in the kitchen.”

**Author's Note:**

> [come say hi on tumblr](https://beatricebidelaire.tumblr.com)


End file.
